It never fails

I took Jude to his first summer story time at the library yesterday and Alex wanted to tag along and get some books. It was a nice day so I decided to walk. I put Jude in the stroller and headed out. I thought Alex could browse the books while Jude was in his class.

Alex, however wanted to join the class.

Jude did really well taking turns and even kind of joined in. He sat in the circle for a while and would then turn around and sit in my lap or just check and make sure I was there. He didn't even try and sing along with the class though. It's so hard at this age to let them explore on their own to gain some independence. Even Alex wanted to go up and help him. I thought it was nice to see her concerned about him but I wouldn't let her help.

On the walk home Jude wanted to get out of the stroller and I told him when we got to our street he could get out and walk. Of course any 3 year old boy isn't satisfied with just walking, they have to run. It didn't help that Alex was walking ahead of us so he had to run to keep up with her.

As we neared the cross street who did we run into but Mr & Mrs Perfect and little Perfect out for a walk. I kept telling Alex & Jude to stop because I was afraid Jude would run right out into the street towards home and his Daddy who happened to be standing out in front of our house. Every time I yelled at them to stop and was almost close enough to grab his hand he would take off running again. This happened twice and all the while Alex was still just a few feet in front of him. I knew she would stop at the stop sign and wait for either me or Jason to tell her to cross but I wasn't sure Jude would. I had a vision of my little baby running out in front of a car so I pushed the stroller aside and ran to him and scooped him up just as Jason ran across the street. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the stroller tumble over. I snapped at Jason for tempting Jude to run but of course he was thinking the same thing I was and that's why he crossed the street before we could get there.

I realized I was mad first because I told both kids to stop and they wouldn't listen but secondly why do I always make a fool of myself in front of the Perfect Family?? I mean I must have looked like a lunatic pushing the stroller aside and running off after Jude when there wasn't even a car in sight!

I want neighbors that are crazy like me with messy backyards, kids yelling and making noise. I don't like living next door to the Perfects :(

Sundays

Every Sunday I get so excited to read the new Post Secrets. I like to make up stories about the post cards, what I think the person that sent them meant.

Sometimes they are just too sad.

I guess we do like to know that we aren't the only people in the world that are sad, feeling rejected, or whatever other emotions come up by reading them.

Letting go - just a little

I signed Jude up for swimming lessons today. I know it's the responsible thing to do but then I came home and I was reading the "rules and regulations" and it said parents aren't allowed to stand near the pool because the lifeguards need quick and easy access in case of an emergency. I broke out in a cold sweat. I could feel it in my pits. My baby slipping under the water, I think I'm going to be sick.....

In case you are wondering the age level for Alex was already filled. I will sign her up for the 2nd session.

The picture is of Alex when she was 3 taking swimming lessons.

So cute!!

Alex 1st Communion

Here are some pictures from Alex's first communion. She looked absolutely beautiful and we got really lucky because the weather turned out to be perfect!

Time to Get Moving...

My family lives in Cleveland, OH. We've all heard the jokes...Mistake on the lake blah blah blah. I always felt like I needed to defend Cleveland but as an adult I'm kind of over it. I don't mean to be mean about it but as long as I can remember Cleveland has been struggling and just on the verge of being something great. Last summer we took the kids to Pittsburgh to the zoo and spent the evening walking around their waterfront area. It's beautiful. I've never been to Chicago but everyone knows how great their waterfront area is. I think Cleveland has missed the boat. Over and over and over again. It's time for us to move on.

We want to move to Columbus, OH. OK so it's not that far and not that much warmer but they get less snow than we do and if you live in or near Cleveland you'll understand what that means. I read in the paper once that Cleveland has more cloudy days than a city in Alaska. Unfortunately I can't remember what city but seriously...Alaska?!?

That's the background, now enters the problem. We can't just up and move without a job. We have little bird mouths to feed and lots and lots of other bills to pay. We need a job in Columbus. Soon. I would like to be there before next winter.

Any ideas?!?!?!?

Happy Birthday Jude

On Monday (25th) my baby boy turned 3. I can't explain the joy that I get from this little guy. He's just always so happy. I wish I could be more like him. It's odd that you can learn so much from your children at such an early age.

I took Jude for his 3 year check up this morning and he's in the 75th percentile for his height and 50th for his weight. When I carry him it feels like he should be in a higher percentile than that! All he wanted to do is show the Dr. his knees, they both have "boo boo's". Of course the Dr. asked about his speech therapy also. I knew it was coming but I told him my plans for preschool and I told him that we took him out of speech therapy and I didn't explain more than that and he didn't ask.

This is the first birthday that my Dad has missed for either of my kids. Two weeks ago he missed my birthday also. I'm still waiting for it to get easier.

Babies

I have 2 kids. I've always wanted 3 kids. In May 2008 I found out I was pregnant with my third, July 7, 2008 I had a miscarriage. It was a week and a half after my Dad died. It took me months to forgive myself. I kept thinking that it was my fault, my body did something wrong. I thought that I would never had another baby, it just wasn't in Gods' plans for us. While I was at my Grannys' funeral I saw a newborn. My cousins wife had a baby girl. Our babies were due a day apart. I couldn't help but think that my baby would be the same age as her baby girl. It was more painful than I could imagine. I want to hold a baby and smell it and hear those little noises that newborns make. I have this nagging feeling that my family isn't complete. Here's the problem...My husband doesn't want another baby. Actually he says he's on the fence. He knows how I feel and I know how he feels so now what do we do? If I don't have another child will I always regret it and end up resenting him in 5 years? If we have another child will he end up resenting me in 5 years? I don't know what the answer is. I'm going to pray alot and I'm going to try and let it go, things will work out the way they were meant to.