Preschool?!?

When I had my 2nd ultrasound with Jude they told me they found signs of down syndrome. Needless to say we were devastated. I had some blood work done and it came back normal. OK I though, we're in the clear. My OB said "No, I still think you should see a specialist." Damn. Two weeks later we went to see the specialist. The tech did an ultrasound and asked why we were even there. The Dr. came in and agreed with our original ultrasound, there were markers. Then he found more. Damn. He took us to another room and ran down the statistics, I'm telling you it was more confusing than buying our house.
We decided not to have an amnio. The chances of having a miscarriage because of the amnio were higher than our chances of having a baby with downs based on our age/history. My OB said that if he had it or not it wouldn't change anything about the delivery.
We waited 5 months to find out if he was healthy.
May 25, 2006 we went into the hospital to be induced. Apparently Jude was a big boy and the Dr. was afraid he might be too big. That thought alone made me happy. Generally speaking babies with Downs are small, I rationalized that if he was big it was a good sign.
I pushed for 20 minutes and he was out, they put him on my stomach and I looked down into those big dark blue eyes and he smiled at me.
It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
OK maybe he didn't smile but he wasnt crying and he just looked at me and it was like he was looking deep into my soul and I could see right away that he was perfect.
The 5 months that we were waiting I never prayed for him to be healthy, I prayed that I would be the best mother that he needed.

Tuesday my baby started preschool.

My heart is full.